19: Heartbroken
[Aya’s POV]
What am I supposed to do? I shouldn’t be behaving this way. It’s just a kiss for God Sake!! ( well..as if you’re always receiving a kiss from your bestfriend…hallerrr???!!!)
My mind is so confused. Parang sapot ng gagamba ang utak ko na hindi ko malaman kung saan ba ang dulo at tamang daan palabas. Ang gulo-gulo. Pasikot-sikot. Paikot-ikot.
I was torn between the two most important guys in my life.
Ano ka ba naman Aya! As if it was the hardest and longest equation in Mathematics, or the most intriguing question in Law, the debit or credit in Accounting or ang pinakabagong kasong kinakaharap ni GMA para magreact ka ng ganyan.
It was just LOVE.
Capital L-O-V-E…Pag-ibig!!!
You may not be an expert on that but atleast you know what is right or wrong.
“ Aya can we talk?”
I was stunned for a while when I hear that very familiar voice.
I’m afraid to look back to see his face. But I know I should do the right thing.
I slowly turned around to look at him as I try to put a smile on my face as if nothing is wrong.
“ Ikaw pala.” ( haba ng sinabi ko)
“About what happened-”
“About what happened-”
Sabay pa kaming nagsalita at parehong natigilan.
“you first” I told him
“ no, Ladies first”
“ ikaw ang may gustong mag-usap tayo diba?”
“ sige na. ikaw muna”
Okay. Para matapos na lang ako na ang mauunang magsalita.
“ Lance, About what happened I want you to forget all about it and act as if it didn’t happened.” I said calmly but deep inside hirap na hirap ako bigkasin ang mga salitang iyon.
Nagagawa ko na ring pagtakpan ang tunay na nararamdaman ko. Epekto ba ito ng pagiging presidente? Dapat laging level-headed???!!!
Lance was shock to hear what I said.
“ you want me to forget it? You what us to forget all about it?”
“yeah. Because it’s nothing really. It’s not even worth remembering for” ( yan sige Aya! Galingan mo pagsisinungaling..ikaw na!!)
(@_@)
[Lance POV]
“ Lance, About what happened I want you to forget all about it and act as if it didn’t happened.”
I could feel my blood boiling inside me.
“ you want me to forget it? You what us to forget all about it?”
“yeah. Because it’s nothing really. It’s not even worth remembering for”
Lance gritted his teeth upon hearing it. How could she be this cruel to me?!
“ do you even hear what you’re saying Aya?! Even though you know what I really feel about you sasabihin mo sakin iyan?!”
Sobrang sama na ng loob ko. Parang gusto kong maghamon ng suntukan sa kung sino mang makakabangga ko.
“ I don’t know what you’re talking about”
I know she was lying. She knows what I feel for her.
“ so you want me to say it out loud?!”
I don’t know what’s happening but I think I really need to say it anyway.
God! It’s killing me. I love her and yet I couldn’t do anything about it.
“ Lance please…”
“ Please what????!!!! Don’t you even know what I really feel for you?! Don’t you even have a single idea how much you’re hurting me?! I can endure all that pain Aya but I cant accept what you said that it’s not worth even remembering. Because that was the most wonderful thing that could ever happened to me since the day that I realized that I love you!!!”
(O_O)
[Aya’s POV]
Aya was shocked. Although she already have an idea about Lance feelings iba pa rin pala talaga kapag mismong dun sa tao na nagmula.
“ I LOVE YOU AYA!!! SO PLEASE DON’T ACT AS
God!!! It’s killing me seeing him crying like that confessing his feelings for me.
I know Lance for a very long time so I know that saying those things was not easy for him.
How I wish I could eased the pain in his heart but I can’t.
I should do what is right.
No. I MUST do what is right.
“ I’m sorry Lance”
That’s all what I can say because I don’t know what to say.
Lance holds me in my arms and suddenly locks me in an embrace. I could feel his tears flowing in my shoulders.
I also want to cry but I can’t let him see me crying for it will become hard for both of us.
“ I’m sorry Lance but I don’t feel the same way.. I may love you but just a friend. A Best friend and nothing else. I want you to forget it because I don’t want any more complications for the two of us. You’re my number 1 best friend Lance. I know you for so long and I don’t want to lose you just because of what happened. And I love Vince.”
I tried to control my tears while saying that but I can’t control my voice from shaking.
It was hard. Pretending to be tough while deep inside I feel weak.
Lance slowly let go of me from his embrace and lift my head so I could look at his face.
“ how could I love an insensitive woman like you?”
He stares at me and Damn! I could really see that he was hurting.
“ I’m so sorry”
He put his fingers to my lips to stop me from saying anything.
“ It’s okay. You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s my fault for bringing this up to you even though I know that somebody else already owns you. I just wish that I could realized it earlier that I already inlove with you before he owns your heart.”
“ Lance….”
I’m speechless or speakless or whatever.
“ Just let me do this once again and I promise you that I would not bothered you again.”
With that Lance slowly kisses me on the lips. I could feel all his emotions in that heart-melting kiss. Pakiramdam ko may emotions na naguumapaw sa damdamin ko na gustong lumabas na hindi ko mabigyang pangalan.
This might be the last time.
Tears slowly flow down in my eyes while kissing him
He maybe feels that tears touch my lip that’s why he let go of me.
Without a word he pinched my nose like he usually do when teasing me but now I could see that he was just trying to control his tears again.
With that he walked out of the garden and leaves me behind.
Tears flow in my eyes as I watched him leave in the garden where we first two met fifteen years ago.
“ I’m so sorry Lance..but it’s the right thing that I should do. I don’t want to hurt Vince even if it cost me my own happiness. I love you but I also love him and he’s the man that I’m committed to. I’m sorry”
Tears still continue to flow non-stop in my eyes when suddenly I feel hands embracing me from behind.
(T_T)
[Lance POV]
May mga bagay na hanggang doon nalang siguro talaga.
I don’t know where I should go. I just drive.
Mula nang umalis ako sa bahay nila Aya hindi ko na alam kung saan ako pupunta.
Hindi ko namamalayan ang takbo ng mga pangyayari.
Kahit lalaki ka pala minsan napapaiyak ka din.
Not because mahina ka but because yun na lang ang tangi mong magagawa.
I started to open the car stereo to divert my attention.
I've known you for so long
You are a friend of mine
But is this all we'd ever be?
I've loved you ever since
You are a friend of mine
But babe, is this all we ever could be?
You are a friend of mine
But is this all we'd ever be?
I've loved you ever since
You are a friend of mine
But babe, is this all we ever could be?
Ang Potek naman oh..sa dami ng kantang matyetyempuhan ko ito pa. ngayon na nga lang ako nagbukas ng radio eh. Pero hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit hindi ko magawang ilipat ng station o patayin ang radio para matahimik na din ako.
You tell me things I've never known
I've shown you love you've never shown
But then again, when you cry
I'm always at your side
You tell me 'bout the love you've had
I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you'll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again I'm glad
I've shown you love you've never shown
But then again, when you cry
I'm always at your side
You tell me 'bout the love you've had
I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you'll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again I'm glad
Siguro may mga tao talagang masyadong senti.
Sa totoo lang ngayon ko lang narealized na emo din pala ako eh. Dahil imbes na masasaya ang dapat pinapatugtog ko feel ko pang sabayan ang kantang tumutugtog dito sa radio.
I've known you all my life
You are a friend of mine
I know this is how it's gonna be
I've loved you then and I love you still
You're a friend of mine
Now, I know friends are all we ever could be
You are a friend of mine
I know this is how it's gonna be
I've loved you then and I love you still
You're a friend of mine
Now, I know friends are all we ever could be
Sige lang ako sa pagsabay sa kanta. Through this at least alam ko na hindi lang pala ako ang nag-iisang broken hearted sa mundo.
Pathetic but it’s true.
Broken-hearted ako.
You tell me things I've never known
I've shown you love you've never shown
But then again, when you cry
I'm always at your side
You tell me 'bout the love you've had
And I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you'll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again I'm glad
I've shown you love you've never shown
But then again, when you cry
I'm always at your side
You tell me 'bout the love you've had
And I listen very eagerly
But deep inside you'll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again I'm glad
Tunog ng cellphone ang gumising sa natutulog kong diwa.
As I get my phone I noticed an unfamiliar number calling.
Dededmahin ko na sana
Since I’m driving I put it in a loudspeaker mode.
“ HELLO” ( galit ako)
“ hi, may I speak to Mr. Lance Montealegre?” ( babae ang caller pero sino kaya ito?)
“ speaking. Sino ka? Saan mo nakuha ang number ko?”
“ hey! Lance it’s me.. Regine or Aegyo or whatever you want to call me. Kung gusto mo naman eh Loves nalang itawag mo sakin kaya lang baduy masyado.”
Regine???
Yung luka-lukang babae na nakilala namin sa mall nung nagpunta kami ni Aya???
Aya na naman!!!
“ wrong number!”
“ hay naku Lance naman wag ka na ngang pakipot kakasabi mo lang eh. Hala ka magtatampo ako”
“ pakialam ko ba sayo?!”
“ang sweet mo talaga kaya nga love na love kita eh. Nasaan ka ba? Pwede ba tayong magdate?”
I sighed irritably.
“ hindi ka ba marunong makaramdam na ayaw kitang kausapin?”
Kung kelan naman may problema ka saka ka pa pepestehin.
“ ano bang kailangan mo?!”
“ yayayain sana
“ako?! Yayayain mo makipagdate?! Kakaiba ka ah.”
“ kung ikaw kasi ang aantayin ko na magyaya sakin baka puti na ang lahat ng uwak sa mundo, hindi na si Noynoy ang presidente at may asawa na si baby James bago pa mangyari iyon.”
“Well your not the first one to say that to me girl but sorry to say I don’t want to.”
“ wag mo naman akong bastedin agad. Try to know me naman muna. Malay mo magclick pala tayo”
“mag-click?! Bakit remote ka ba? Switch ka ba para i-click kita?”
“ ui…bumabanat sya..hahaha…sige na hindi rin kita titigilan kaya umoo ka na”
“ ayoko nga ang kulit mo”
“matagal ko ng alam na makulit ako kaya mabubwisit ka lang sakin dahil hindi kita titigilan.kay pumayag ka na please…”
At pagkahaba-habang please pa ang kasunod.
Well come to think of it dapat siguro magenjoy ako..pwede naming magenjoy ang mga broken-hearted diba? And this girl is the best substitute.
“ okay. Your place or mine?”
Testing lang. Hindi naman ako manyak. Tignan ko lang kung hanggang saan itong babaeng ito.
“ano?!???!!!”
Well mukhang shock nga sya.
“why?What do you expect? Your asking a guy out remember? So don’t play innocent on me. I wont buy that.”
“ but all I want is to have fun with you. On a date not that”
“ we can have fun without even going on a date you know. I can assure you that you will ask for more.”
Watataf**k Lance. Ano ba yang mga pinagsasabi mo.!!
You’re sounded like a man whose craving for sex for Godness sake!!
Sigaw iyon ng konsensya ko pero mukhang sarado na yata ang isip ko para makipagtalo pa and I say what I want to say.
For once in my life I don’t want to be a good guy anymore.or atleast just this time.
“ so what’s up?! Afraid to do that baby?”
Matagal bago siya nakapagsalita. Siguro naiisip niya that I.m such a bastard for treating her that way.
“ if you’re not ready and willing to do that don’t you ever call me again okay?!”
Ibababa ko na sana
“ okay.Magkita nalang tayo sa Starbucks sa Megamall. Papunta na ako dun” she said as she hang the phone.
Pumayag???
Well I guess it’s time for me to enjoy and forget about Aya.
Let tomorrow handle itself.
I turn right to head towards in Megamall to meet her.
(*_*)
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